Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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