no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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