From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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