OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Barsexuality is the new black.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
