Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
