Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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