Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
