you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
