When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
