Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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