Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
