I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
