Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
