I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
