just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
