I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
A bitchslap is in order.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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