I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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