girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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