I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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