that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You may now shotgun with the bride
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
