Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
A bitchslap is in order.
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