We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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