i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
