I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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