...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
