I can text with my tongue
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
