i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Randomize
