She is in my trunk
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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