obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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