he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
