Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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