you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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