halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I cut my penus on the lid.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
