Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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