Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
