booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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