FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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