I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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