Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize