Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
