I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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