I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
