So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
