did you get engaged???
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You dont lie about slip and slides
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I'm having to shit out rocks
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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