Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
