i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
