He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize