hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize