I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
