Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
