i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
