if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
