Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Sponge bath it is.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
