its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
