Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
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