yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
