is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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