doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
