eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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