Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
it's like iHOP with fire
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
