come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
